When nature calls, consider your reply

Evan Haussmann
By: Evan Haussmann
20 January 2012
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23 comments
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Whether an adventure is on or off the beaten track, we definitely don’t deserve to be rewarded for our efforts with evidence of the previous visitors’ leavings.

Granted, when there are facilities they’re often not up to snuff; following these tips, suggestions and guidelines there’s no reason other than pure human selfishness to leave anything but the view for the next visitor to marvel at.

But I gotta go!
Sure, by all means, and please take your time. Take this advice from the Leave No Trace Centre for Outdoor Ethics, which teaches people how to enjoy the outdoors responsibly (www.lnt.org):

Number one
The urine of a healthy person is sterile and aside from the smell doesn’t pose nearly as much of a problem as …

… number two
If this is your mission, walk at least 70 adult steps (about 60 metres) from any water, trail or campsite and dig a hole between 15 and 20 centimetres deep. Human poo is filled with pathogens, which have made many of world’s water sources undrinkable. It should be everyone’s responsibility to protect water purity.

The job’s not finished until the paperwork is done
If you’re really into being green, you’re probably the kind to use the closest vegetation, stick or stone to hand (you’re also probably laughing at this article).

Then there are those who feel good old two-ply is the only option. When you’re done you could bury it all and put a rock on top of it, but paper doesn’t degrade very fast or well and if (or more likely, when) animals get the scent they’ll dig it up anyway.

Burning the toilet paper before covering isn’t a bad idea if there’s absolutely no risk of setting the bush alight – and by ‘no risk’ I mean desert-like conditions. If you find yourself squatting in a desert, bury the deposit in a shallow hole between five and 10 centimetres deep to allow the sun’s UV rays to dry it out (there’s no organic action to break it down in a desert). Feel free to burn your paper out in the desert sand where no harm can be done.

Make that a takeaway
If you’re in an area with flammable bush or on a rocky outcrop, it’s best to bag the bog roll and take it out. The Leave No Trace mantra is ‘Pack in, pack out’ and they mean it.

If you hike the Fish River Canyon or raft the Orange with a responsible operator, everything you take in should be removed. You may baulk at carrying used toilet paper out of the wilderness, but it’s no different to tampons, pads or disposable nappies (these should never be left behind – they’re barely accept-able in a municipal landfill).

Before you go
The key is preparing properly: while you double check to make sure you haven’t forgotten the toilet paper, get into the habit of adding a few ziplock bags or brown paper packets, a little hand spade and sanitiser.

Tips:

  • Mix plant matter or fire ash into faeces to speed up its break down.
  • Tampons, pads and disposable nappies shouldn’t be disposed of by burial: they’re not biodegradable and animals will dig them up. Burning is no good either; to be completely incinerated they need temperatures way higher than those a campfire is capable of producing.
  • Hikers sometimes use a dedicated dry-bag lined with a plastic bag or two to dispose of used toilet paper and hygiene products.
  • If you take a field toilet, try using a plastic bag lined with kitty litter.

Gear to go

Bare necessities

  • The Sea to Summit Pocket Trowel (formerly called iPood) is lightweight, foldable and has space for a lighter or toilet paper in the hollow handle from Cape Union Mart for R299. Or just grab a little garden spade.
  • Unbleached toilet paper
  • Hand sanitisers
  • Cigarette lighter or matches

Road tripper’s throne

Combine the Easy-go portable toilet, which works with bio-sanitary disposable bags, with a pop-up shower/toilet tent for a quick solution to dodgy roadside facilities. Easygo portable toilet R399,95, bio-sanitary disposable bags R160 for eight, www.outdoorwarehouse.co.za.

Stand up for your rights

Ladies can avoid contact with manky public loos or even sneak off the trail like a man with the Go Girl reusable female urination device (FUD), which allows women to urinate standing up. Go Girl FUD, R119,95 from Outdoor Warehouse, www.outdoorwarehouse.co.za.


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23 Responses to “When nature calls, consider your reply”facebook

  1. Sparkie says:
    January 24, 2012 at 11:08 am

    Just one question – any ideas on how to burn wet toilet paper?

    Reply
  2. JK says:
    January 24, 2012 at 2:52 pm

    Why do some English speakers feel they can use crude Afrikaans words and get away with it? If the title used the English equivalent it would never had passed the editor.

    Reply
  3. Trudi says:
    January 24, 2012 at 5:14 pm

    I absolutely agree with JK – I am sure that whomever wrote the heading is not aware of the crude meaning of the word. He/she did a disservice to the journalist, who didn’t use the k*k word (it’s a swear word in Afrikaans) in his copy, but will lose credibility due to the heading.

    Reply
  4. Nico says:
    January 25, 2012 at 6:56 am

    I agree with JK – it is extremely offensive to use the word k@k in your heading, since it is a very rude Afrikaans swear word. The word sh!t may be less offensive in English, but is is completely inappropriate to use such a word in a public article. A bad slip up Ed!

    Reply
  5. Cam says:
    January 25, 2012 at 9:56 am

    Just a comment about Getaway becoming an ‘advertising rag’ … we have just fought hard, and won, a battle with our publishers to increase the number of editorial pages in the magazine for the first time in 23 years. Sure advertising is prevalent in the magazine – considering its leading place in travel mags in South Africa that is inevitable – but we are committed to giving you more, better features every month.

    Reply
  6. Frans says:
    January 25, 2012 at 9:56 am

    I totaly agree with Rodney and if this is the standard of Getaway I would rather not read it in future. Sies man!

    Reply
  7. Roelien says:
    January 25, 2012 at 10:20 am

    Not gonna buy this magazine anymore!

    Reply
  8. Graeme says:
    January 25, 2012 at 11:54 am

    Thanks for the advice. If only I could install a bidet in the Landy…

    Reply
  9. DN says:
    January 25, 2012 at 2:45 pm

    To all of the objectors – why open up the article in the first place? The title of the article was clearly displayed on the home page. You could have browsed past it if you were offended by it.

    Reply
    • Rodney says:
      January 25, 2012 at 3:45 pm

      If I am buying the magazine that purports to be the leading SA travel mag why should I have to be offended in the first place? It’s really a matter of class – if you are OK with that style of language that’s your business. Can you imagine National Geographic having an article with that style of title? Different strokes I guess – anyway, my money isn’t going to Getaway.

      Reply
    • Nico says:
      January 26, 2012 at 8:11 am

      DN, so the implication is that we should just ignore offensive words and read past them in public magazines, newspapers, on TV etc? TV can carry on without beeping out swear words – all is fine? How do you explain that to your kids? What does that say about us as adults? Surely the media should try to uphold generally accepted standards of civility – where do you draw the line if you take this line of thought?

      Reply
      • Nico says:
        January 26, 2012 at 8:21 am

        7.1.1.5 of the DMMAs code of cunduct states that a member (Getaway is a member) shall not intentionally or knowingly publish content that causes grave or widespread offense;

        The BCCA specifically states that offensive language, including profanity and other religiously insensitive material, must not be broadcast in programmes specially designed for children. Since Getaway is a family magazine, this principle surely also applies, even if it does not fall under the BCCA?

        Getaway, you should retract this article or edit it in such a way that it does not give offense – and issue a public apology!

        Reply
  10. Mimi Schneider says:
    January 26, 2012 at 9:29 am

    I’ve been away from South Africa for five years – in most instances, regrettably, but when I saw the title of this article I was glad that I don’t have to face this kind of base language in my daily life. Another clear indication that South Africa is “going to the dogs” in every sense of the word.

    Reply
  11. blocko says:
    January 26, 2012 at 1:13 pm

    So, lemme get this right…. will all you paragons of virtue and purity be happy if they just change one word in the story heading??????
    If so, Getaway dudes, just edit the header and maybe we can all enjoy the story for what it is.

    Reply
    • Rodney says:
      January 26, 2012 at 4:35 pm

      Blocko, it’s not about being a paragon of virtue, rather about the poor standards that have been creeping into Getaway over the years. As I’ve said before, if you’re OK with those standards that’s your business. I think the general feeling in the posts is that if Getaway are as good as they claim they are, there should be a higher standard of editing. A good magazine doesn’t have to stoop to this level. And, despite the response from Cam, I stand by the ‘advertising rag’ – big deal that you are increasing the editorial after 23 years, count the number of advertising pages vs ‘article’ pages!

      Reply
  12. Sarah Duff says:
    January 26, 2012 at 3:26 pm

    We sincerely apologise for having caused offence, and have changed the title to ‘When nature calls, consider your reply.’

    Sarah Duff
    Getaway web editor

    Reply
  13. Anon says:
    January 27, 2012 at 11:32 am

    I find Mimi Schneider’s comments absurd and offensive. Good riddance.

    Reply
  14. Mark says:
    January 30, 2012 at 8:49 am

    It seems that a number of the comments make the assumption that all media is exclusively written for them and that if they don’t find an article palatable, they have the right to complain. Yes, they do have the right to complain, similarly I have the right to think that they are uptight, ignorant idiots. If an article offends you, think twice and consider that maybe…just maybe it wasn’t intended for you as an audience.

    Personally I have found myself doing a squat on several hikes and I would even go as far as prescribing it to the offended readers, as it is a very humbling experience.

    On the lighter side, I thought of a few other title substitutions while reading the comment stream, please consider:
    Dealing With Faeces in the Forest
    Exterior Excrement
    The Great Out Pours In the Great Outdoors

    :P M

    Reply
  15. Arthur Burger says:
    February 2, 2012 at 12:37 pm

    The article is actually quite good and I suggest we focus on that part of it…

    ” considering its leading place in travel mags in South Africa that is inevitable”

    Are you sure about this statement

    Weg / Go made a major impact – with far less advertising

    When Getaway took “Wegbreek” to court, I vowed never to buy a getaway again, and I stuck to my vow since the first Wegbreek (now Weg)

    Reply

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